


I'm fine (but you know that's a lie)

by FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper



Series: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Re(y)-write [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angry Poe Dameron, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Before Ep. VIII, F/M, Families of Choice, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Foreshadowing, Gen, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Poe Dameron is a Good Friend, Poe and Rey friendship, Pre-Relationship, Protective Poe Dameron, Rey Needs A Hug, Space Mom Leia Organa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-19 01:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper/pseuds/FinnReyfitzsimmonsshipper
Summary: Rey has a confession to make after a nightmare.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Leia Organa & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Leia Organa, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Han Solo
Series: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Re(y)-write [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561570
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	I'm fine (but you know that's a lie)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So I was only planning 2 one-shots originally, but that number is quickly expanding. I promise, I am working on Ep. VIII, and I might even reveal the title at the end of this one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy this one shot, because I am hoping to flesh out this universe a little more, and actually STICK TO my continuity. Anyhow, I am attaching a trigger warning for discussions of Torture, Rape, and a nightmare sequence in the middle. Stay safe, lovelies. If you or someone you know is dealing with anything, I'm leaving some hotlines here as well:  
> Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255  
> Sexual Abuse hotline: 1-800-656-4673  
> Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233  
> Child Abuse hotline: 1-800-422-4453  
> Please call any of these if you need help, or if someone you know needs it. I love you guys, and you have so much to live for.

**Rey pov:**

The bed is too comfortable. It's too big, and so is the room. Everything is carefully controlled in here, it almost feels suffocating-- It almost feels like a cell.

I sleep with the door cracked open. I tried sleeping with a closed door one time since I've been on Starkiller Base, but that quickly ended in Finn and Poe having to pull me out of a panic attack. My body desperately craves sleep, but my mind does not. My mind repels sleep, repels the memories that come back with it. 

I feel my head begin to pound, a dull ache blossoming between my temples. I groan, and move to bury my head in my pillow before I have to stifle a cry--I jostled my leg. 

My body begs my mind to find rest, and I try to will my eyes open. 

_At night, desperate to sleep... You imagine an island._

I shake my head, desperate to clear Kylo Ren's deep voice out of my head. I only hear it again. 

_I see it,_ He cruelly whispers as my eyelids become heavier. _I can see the island._

And then, against my own wishes, my eyelids flutter shut. 

_I am stuck once again on Starkiller Base, strapped tightly to an interrogation rig._

_Kylo Ren walks towards me, and I want desperately to recoil- but nothing prepares me for the pain of the probe once again, and the feeling of Ren's fingers all over me, inside me._

_Kylo Ren's force signature pounds painfully in my mind, and it drowns out the sound of my own screams--_

_I am clawing desperately at Kylo, wanting nothing more than his body off of me. The blood-His blood-drips onto my exposed collarbone, warm and sticky, and then, I feel the pain in my mind once again and I'm begging---_

"Get out of my head!!!" I scream, sitting bolt upright in what I quickly realize is my room in Bespin. 

Finn comes into the room and sees my pale face before he realizes what is happening. He immediately comes over to the bed, and I almost fall into his arms, not concerned with shame anymore. He rubs small circles in my back as I sob on his shoulder. 

"You're safe now," Finn whispers. "I'm right here." 

Finally, the tears stop, and I look at Finn with a tear-stained face. He kisses my head before resting his chin on the crown of my head and saying, "Let's go find Poe. He's probably having a hard time sleeping too." 

I shake my head and say, "He can't see me like this.."

Then, as if on cue, Poe knocks on the door face of my room. "Can I come in?" 

Internally sighing, I nod, and Finn talks for me. 

"You can come in," Finn says. "It's okay." 

Poe walks in, and sits on the edge of my bed. "Can't sleep either?" 

I shake my head, and then make enough space for Poe and Finn to sit on either side of me. 

"Poe?" I ask, my voice somewhat hoarse from the crying. 

"Hm?" 

"I need to tell you something," I begin, feeling my stomach do flips. Finn laces our fingers together, and I feel _Safe-Love-Comfort_ coming through every fibre of his being. 

"Of course," Poe says. "You know you can tell us anything." 

I nod, and then I say, "Finn already knows... It's what happened on Starkiller Base." 

A look of understanding and horror passes over Poe's face before he nods. 

"Well, I woke up on Starkiller Base," I begin, taking a deep breath. "I didn't realize Finn was there at first. I was afraid to ask, if I'm being honest. So instead, I decided to ask where I was. Ren told me that I was his 'guest.' He said that I could either give up the location or he would make me scream until Finn did. That was when I realized Finn was there too." 

Poe nods before saying, "Take your time, Rey." 

I nod, and decide to continue before I lose my nerve. "He undid the restraints, and then got a blaster out. He told me to tell him about the droid, so I began prattling off a bunch of technical details before he shot me."

"Reminds me of what happened with mine," Poe says, a melancholic understanding coming into his eyes. "Torture buddy." 

"Yeah," I begin, a sad smile coming onto my face. "Torture buddies."

Finn puts a hand on the small of my back, and I lean into the touch. "Do you want to continue, love?" 

I nod, and Finn rubs soothing circles into the small of my back as I continue. "He went into my head," I begin, my voice heavy with tears. "He made me relive one of the worst nights of my life. I just remember feeling filthy... I pushed that night to the back of my mind, and I had to feel the slavers inside me all over.." I begin sobbing, not able to hold the tears back anymore. 

"I'm right here," Finn whispers, rubbing my back. I continue roughly sobbing for a little bit longer before I'm able to get a steadying breath in. 

"Are you ready to continue?" Poe asks kindly. 

I nod, and reply, "You deserve to know. I was screaming again, and I could register Finn yelling in the next room. I mostly remember yelling at Kylo, 'Get out of my Head!'" 

Finn has taken his hand from the small of my back, and has laced our fingers together. I use his hand as an anchor, tethering me to this reality.

"Then, he told me that he could take whatever he wanted. I told him to Go to Hell," I say, taking a deep breath before I continue. "Then, He takes me over to the other side of the room. There was a-another torture rig. He told me that he took no pleasure, but that he had to do this. He, he injected something into me.. I felt like my body was tearing itself apart." 

Poe nods, and then says, "The torture droids did something like that to me too." 

I nod, and continue. "He left me like that, and I had to struggle to stay silent. And after a few minutes, he came back. He told me what _Bavo Six_ was, and then unwrapped my arm wraps," I say, rubbing my arms subconsciously. "He injected me with it, and went through my head again.. It was awful. It was so much worse than the first couple of times. I began to cry from trying to resist... But he kept talking. He said he could see the island. Then, he found my thoughts about Han. He said he would've disappointed me. I tell him to get out of my head, and he drops it.. Then he tells me I'm too weak to resist everything. And the whole thing begins all over again. He gives me another drug first, which makes me extremely vulnerable to suggestion. I felt like my skin was on fire, all because he told me as such, and I believed it." 

Poe smiles sadly, and says, "I get it.. Do you feel ready to continue?"

I nod, and then say, "Yeah. I need to. He kept looking through my head... And then Obi-Wan came back. He told me that I am one with the Force. That I _am_ the Force. And then, I was able to look in his head. He withdrew all at once, and then he got the whip out. It was one of those electrical whips.. He lashed me 4 times. It was.. horrible. Then, he threw me into the cell with Finn. He left us for a little bit, and it was ice cold in the cell. I was in nothing but my band and compression shorts. Finn tried to keep me awake, but I went unconscious. When Ren came back, he asked us again. When Finn didn't tell him, he.. he threatened to rape me if Finn didn't tell him. I begged Finn not to tell, that it was okay," I say, tears falling out of my eyes. "So Finn watched as Kylo--" 

I begin to cry again, and then Poe speaks before Finn can. 

"Rey," He begins, putting a gentle hand on my knee. "Rey, you're not there anymore. You're in Bespin, with me and Finn." 

I use Poe's voice as a tether back to reality, and take a breath heavily impeded by the tears and snot. I can feel Finn's exuding waves of _Love-Home-Safe_ and Poe's emotions of _Caring-Love-Here_ and that is what calms me down enough to continue. 

"Finn watched as Kylo raped me." I say. 

Poe nods, and Finn holds me close. 

"That's why you don't sleep with the door open," Finn says. 

"Because it's too much like a cell," Poe says. 

I nod, and fight back the tears. 

"I am so sorry," Poe says. "I am so sorry to the both of you." 

I shake my head, and then I take my hand out of Finn's for an aching instant to hug Poe. He returns it immediately, his hands cupping my neck and shoulders. 

I break the hug after a bit, immediately returning my hand to Finn's. I feel at home like this; Poe next to me, and my hand in Finn's. 

"Can you guys stay?" I ask, suddenly feeling exhausted all over again. 

Poe smiles, and I can feel Finn nod at the same time. 

"Of course we can, Sunshine." 

I smile, and the three of us stay, my too-big bed finally feeling reasonably sized.

The door stays open all night as well, and that is how Leia is able to walk into the room and find us, a mess of tangled limbs, my hand laced with Finn's. 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, y'all. So I know I said I would unveil the Ep. VIII title at the end, so here it is: Star Wars: Ep. VIII--The Shadows Between Stars. I am super excited to get the story uploaded, and I hope you guys enjoy it!! Anyhow, if you guys have any suggestions for other one-shots for the in-between periods for "Across the Stars" and "The Shadows Between Stars," please let me know in the comments, and I'll see y'all on the flipside!!


End file.
